LiFe oF gUohU|...cHp 206
ok. i'm back from my OBBD course. and though it isn't as challenging physical and psychologically as i thought, i had my fair share of learning and experiencing something new. like embracing the bruneian culture with awe. like seeing the difference btwn a typical sg kid and a bruneian kid. and knowing how much i have changed for the past few mths. and hw much i've matured. and how much i have not changed over the yrs.
basically the whole Outward Bound course is not really much of a physical and psychological challenge for me. perhaps it's due to my age and what i've been thru over the yrs. it just reinforce what's in me, the things i used to teach in npcc, a chance to practise a different style of leadership, seeing the 15yrs old kids as peers, respecting them as one and working together as one.
yes, FYI, i was one of the oldest in the grp. ok. i was the oldest beside sameer. US being at 19. a couple of CIs, a whole bunch of 15yrs old NCC and NPCC cadets. tt makes up the contingent of 30 from SG. joined up with 28 bruneian kids for the outward bound experience.
day 1 was basically the flight, checking in, ice breakers and all.
day 2 was the sea kayaking expedition to an island whr we stay overnight and kayak back on day 3. we clocked a total mileage of 11km per trip. tt makes 22km approximately for the whole journey. had the luxury of partnering 2 different bruneian kids, tonni and noriah on both diff days.
day 4 was spent hiking up a 700ft hill to do some abseiling in the rain.
day 5 to day 7 was the jungle expedition in the rain forest followed by kayaking downstream in the river back to the OBBD logistic center.
night of day 7 doing solo night in the jungle. day 8 moving into the youth hostel in brunei.
day 9 was doing some not very constructive CIP.
day 10 was in cultural tour in brunei whr we visited the museums in brunei and the 7km personal challenge jog.
day 11 was the flight back to sg. and 3hrs of shopping in a mall in brunei. had some food in the ONLY mac in brunei. catch eragon there too with some grpmates.
ok. how's tt for a brief summary of what i did over the past 11 days. didn't exactly suffered a lot. beside the horrible sandfly, mosquito and unknown bug bites on my bodies. it was more of a holiday for me. a good time to put down everything on hand at the moment and enjoy a back-to-the-basic lifestyle. appreciating the little things in life. trust me. i feel so good without having to answer and phone calls or sms for the moment. and abt the many things i had to do. and to get back to the healthy lifestyle of waking up and slping early, do some jogging, pushing myself to do things that i've not done for the past few mths. basically sweating it out. might be a torture to some but i actually enjoy it.
i've found back the trust from others to carry out their roles and responsiblities without being strict and having regulations. i was the logistic IC for the team. doing the shit stuff for them when no one volunteered. actually i did not do much. just handing out logistic and keeping them. no scolding. gentle reminder and all.
though at times during the course, i'm somehow quite confused over the roles that i have to undertake. being the most senior participants in the grp, i felt that i have a duty to watch over everyone in the grp, to motivate them all, to egg them on to try to lead and be proactive, at times, so much so that i'm almost being the faciliator of the grp. ( which i am not supposed to be.) at times, i am being the act like i'm training them as thinking leaders. (which shld nt be the case). That resulted me in not sharing my fair bit of information and ideas which I have gained and have had over my yrs as an npcc instructor. it's confusing to know when to take the backseat and whether i've been takign the backseat for too long. yet, i do not want them to overrely on me to make decisions and forgo their chances of trying to lead their fellow peers. it's complicated. to view them as peers on the same platform, yet experience do not allow me to think and act the same way as they do. tt's more of a personal challenge to me. to ponder abt the actions that i have to take.
which i thought i did manage very well, in becoming a better listener. to consider and compare others' suggestion with mine, ponder abt it before giving constructive feedback. i'm so glad i'm able to do it. esp when i realise that i've not been doing so in these recent yrs.
but these at a price, that i neglected the feelings of a fellow ci. that i trust and expect her to be as strong as who i thought she would be. and left her on her own. and refrain myself from helping her with her weakness and reassuring needs. and that all ends up in a nasty outcome in which she broke down in tears in front of me.
and i realise i learnt a lot from the course. nt exactly the physical challenge part. on interpersonal skills.
and i realise hw much i've grown. esp when i see 18 yrs old kids. from the way they carry themselves and the way they converse. like a typical spoilt brat from SG. and that of an arrogant instructor in his cca.
it was a real eye opener to meet ppl from all walks of life in NCC and NPCC. you have ur ASMs and CSMs of the NCC and the chairperson of NPCC, the CIs and all. ppl with different working style, attitude, mentality and character. there are some who goes boasting abt their abilities ( if it ever makes them feel better), others who couldn't care less abt their satisfying their needs more than others. and there are overly obsessed instructors abt their CCA and would not venture forth to embrace the culture of others. and to that of childish 17 yrs old KIDs making childish comments abt everything and anything under the sun. and u have ppl who are more than willing to lend more than just a helping hand and listening yr, offering constructive comments and interesting points of view how things shld be done.
but who am i to judge or even change them ?
and i realise hw much time has changed me. the way i carry myself. the way i think. the way i speak. and the way i lead.
but nevertheless, having facades is nt very guohui. and i'm glad i made my stand thru my actions.
OBBD. a real eye opener and a real wake up call to me.
damn my post is incoherent.
