LiFe oF gUohU|...cHp 138

i haven been bloggin for a long time and i know it... i just duno wad to blog abt.

or maybe i dun wanna face the reality or the situation tt i am in...

or even why is this happening to me...

sch term's starting next week. i WAS looking forward to it... but somehow now, i am feeling so tired before it actually begins... i duno how the hell am i going to hold unit march 06...

my cca is facing a crisis...

so are my studies...

i mean literally i duno wad i am studying for ever since the MST in Aug/july...i can't remember anyway... everything is literally a blank for me...

i can't ball properly...

my life is turning upside down and is going haywire... like how i will slp at 4am/5am and wake up at 2...

like how i have achieve nth for this holiday...


wad is exactly happening to me?

and much as i have realise, it is REAL unlikely that i will fall for anyone in the near future... nope, i'm nt turning gay... it is just... feelings... i guess that feeling will ya.. be just so difficult to come by... just like how i dun fall for anyone for the past few yrs... ok, if 3/4yrs is considered long...

i duno wad i am saying...

i just feel so tired...

not knowing wad to do with myself...

just like wad others do not know wad to do with me...


and i tink i am nt going to blog for a very long time ... at least until i clear my thoughts and start bloggin sense...


so wad if guohui cease to exist tml ? impossible ?

he might, he might not....

guohuilist turned back time on Wednesday, October 26, 2005.

LiFe oF gUohU|...cHp 137

bloggin life resumes... so guohui's reporting in... ok, had quite a fine day today.

woke up at 2pm to go online... chatted with this qiaoying tt happens to know me from ATC. tt broadrick girl to pester/ bombared me with sms for a few days... lol... ok, i realise i have a certain generation gap with younger ppl nowadays... lol... which i reminded from the conversation with my bball kakis on being 18 is like sooo old... ended conversation at ard 2.34pm when i had to head down to my hse nearby coffeeshop for lunch.. ya... den saw some old primary sch fren and yeah... was accompanied for lunch... lazed ard the coffeshop for an hr or so before heading home to read newspaper and to game a little... went out at ard 5pm to the bball court to pass my time there... chatted with the bball kakis and had a puff.

played best of 7 series 3 on 3 with zhe yu and co before sitting down to crap... weijian was having his off day from his commando camp and shared parachute jumping experience with us...

den went home only to realise tt my mum is nt back from suntec.. had dinner with my father and watched some TV show before coming online again to do some webstuff.

wad a boring day man... at least tml i'm going out with some frens...

ok... i dunno why i am writing it this way... have been feeling so bad and so down since ytd... am just not feeling myself at the moment... all it is all because of a regret... something tt i promised myself and did not do on july 18,2005...

maybe it is a case of bad Risk Assessment Management.
maybe i tink too much but do too little.
maybe it was not meant to be.
maybe
maybe


a thousand "maybe's" it may seems, excuses or nt, it is wad it is now...

and i feel the loss, i feel the pain...

i duno how i am going to face the truth.

i duno how to carry on from here.
esp when i feel so empty.

it is no use trying to tell myself to move on.

but i can't.

maybe like ytd, i'm nt gonna slp a wink till dawn.

i am still tinking of a thousand possible ways to handle it, or even other possible scenario.

why?

it is tough to learn tt crying over spilled milk is of no use.


troubled.

the pain of loss, is just too much to bear....

guohuilist turned back time on Tuesday, October 18, 2005.

LiFe oF gUohU|...cHp 136

alrite, i know i am being a bad blogger recently by not blogging... i am just too busy in life to do tt k... besides, i wun wanna post things in the crucial periods when 3 bloggers got caught and fined... though i din blog abt sedative topics and all... but being a person who talk churned out rubbish from his mouth, i decided to give myself some time off. just in case i spilled out nonsense and make headlines as the 4th blogger charged...

so an update of wad i have been doing recently...



selling the jue shi hao bra or loosely translated as the "WORLD BEST BRA" at marine parade makeshift store... so peeps, if u wanna find me or interested in my trade, u can find me there... and it's cheap k...




drinking beer at some coffeeshop with frens such as zong rong and underage kids like zhenqiang using my EIGHTEEN years olds student pass.



arrhhh... yes... tidying up my room after my semester exams... this is just the portion on my study table... my PC desk, my bed and my cabinet is in a condition just as bad... tt is tough work... considering how clean is my room...

and i have started on an MMORPG called martial heroes.., gunz online to pass time...

woohaaa..woohaa...

and ya... overnight fishing! pics of tt will be out soon....

guohuilist turned back time on Wednesday, October 12, 2005.