LiFe oF gUohU|...cHp 109
damn... it has been raining/ drizzling all day... as much as i hate to say, i am really bothered by the weather... as well as tt thorny issue... hate to say tt it really took its toll on me... okie.. admitted i haven actually gotten all over it... can't help but wasted my time thinking over and over again abt it...
does it really matters tt much to me?
maybe i am not really tt rationale now to answer tt question...
but i now i have to admit my decision. i have to accept the situation...
though someone told me tt by 2007, i will be guaranteed mine... but is it still the same animore? well... *shrug*
besides, i would have graduated by april 2007... and enlisted by then... if ever i can still make it for the would-be parade, tt means the unwanted otherwise have happened in my course of studies... n i'm sure i dun not want tt to happen...
damn... i guess it is time NOT to be a gentleman and start thinking of myself...
tt's wad a fren told me...
we cannot always think for others and in the end, only end up hurting ourselves.well... i am not very much classified in the " for noble cause" categeory... i am juz following my heart to lead me to the ideal outcome... which i guess, i regretted it myself very much...
esp when i heard " we have to practise our ***** drill..." do u guys even noe tt the words crushed upon me like a stab in my heart? considered my feelings? dun tink so..
and at this pt of time, i guess there is no reason for me to hide my disgust...
I DUN WANNA BE A NICE GUY NO MORE...
if i cannot be self-less as i want myself to be... someone PLS teach me to be selfish...
chivalry dun mean a thing in these days...
but i dun get it... y can others have their cake and eat it...
i can't...
okie... i noe this ain't some soap drama whr ppl are supposed to cry...
life goes on rite...
but even the normal stuff i do can't seem to cheer me up. not even miss orange sandals... or the usual crackup in classes...
i am still mulling...
and for once, pls stop asking me if i am lovesick... i'm not...
i am just feeling... empty... disappointed... upset...
no one says it was easy... but nobody even told me it was tt difficult...
but i trust tt i must do my job no matter wad...
meanwhile, let me be... i will sort out my thoughts... i hope...
meanwhile, i dun think i can see sunshine in me for the next few days...
which i greatly apologised for all who expected me so...
a good fren once told me that i should not always be the man behind the mask... there shall be no facade... if i am sad, show the world tt i am so...
i always dun believe in tt..
but for this time rd, i juz dun seem to pick up my smiles...
and worse of all, my brothers are pissing me off... very... i noe i am grouchy... can't u guys let me have it my way for once...
maybe nt...
maybe guohui is a forsaken person... maybe i am...
wadever...
depressed...
