LiFe oF gUohU|...cHp 89
haiz.... i'm here to blog abt chp 89 man... but sad to say... this is not a nice entry that i gonna have down the memory lane... i'm just so disappointed and upset abt today...
started off today with me going down to SP to help out the enrolment exercise for the EEE students... but i 4got to bring my lanyard... so had to jaga the waypoints... tt is sooo damn bo liao loh... the whole system is totally idiot proof... but jason had done it again by being " courteous", insisting on telling every single soul to head to their destinated direction... i juz merely told him that the signs are idiot proof and we only have to guide those real idiots who cannot read and follow signs... all i get in return are the sincerity of me trying to help out... i' m juz so sick and tired of being transparent, taken for granted and totally ignored at the club.... so damn faked up... i noe i was in the wrong by forgetting to bring the lanyard but somehow i was told to juz zuobo for the day... apparently i didn't want to do so and help out with the way points and this happen... so pissed... but luckily there was ren qian to kaobei with me thru the session...
den went back to chung cheng for np activity... saw liyuan... in my opinion, i tink she looks better than before le... chatted with her for quite a while before heading over to the logistic room to repair the pressure lamps with jon but tt wasn't a very successful trip... PT led by the NCOs kills any hope i have for the progress of np man... was commenting to jon on y the scouts sing " trained to be a leader" like boys instead of man... but suddenly the np troupe can over and proved the ironic truth...
den went to kwek's to have a confirm on quite a few issues... and i got my SGD 20 back for the ATF thingy...
den went back to bunk to give out the ssgt retest and sgt retest paper...
initially i was very proud of the NCOs on the certain things
1) they submitted a 117pgs annual camp proposal that looks very detailed... tt goes to show how much effort they have gone thru for this proposal... though the quality is nt known yet.... but the quality far surpassed the previous batch... am sooo proud of them man
2) the sec 3 ncos submitted the confidential report on time... and to boast of a YELLOW file, a self designed cover page with the " confidential" words on, a copy of the squad's attendance... all at their own initiative... plus this is one of the few times when a proposal is handed in on time... well done NCOs...
but the ironic issue happened on after tt... when the issue of the 1st class drill badge was brought up... i commented that they did not learn first class drill badge coz their drill standard were nt up to standard...
all i got in return was retorts and protest... childish protest... words like TMD were heard across the room...
for once, i felt no anger in me... i felt no urge to punish the NCOs for that abusive language they displayed...even worse as they were NCOs... i din feel that i had to punish them for their behaviour...
and i felt was juz utter disappointment... sheer disappointment... very upsetting...
for they were sec 4s to speak of... yet with such actions and mentality... they were ncos to speak of... yet such unmature behaviour...
DID i FAIL as a CI, a ex NCO, a senior? to result in such a situation...
for they were my squad...
i did have the heart to debrief them... i juz walked off...
no one ard could feel how disappointed i was...
y such an attitude... such actions...
they could have asked and requested for the badge test... and lesson
they could have demanded that we take them for drill and prove us wrong
they could have nicely asked..
but
they din... wad we got was abused... unpleasant language... unpleasant words...
wad is this supposed to mean?
IF lam yarn was ard, who knows wad will become of them... but i am guohui.... i was their squad taking nco... i juz din have the heart to do so... i din wan to do so... i couldnt bring myself to do so...
do they even think that i myself do not want them to learn and take the drill badge? do u tink us instructors do not want to do so...
do u even think of our constraints... the armoury issue... it is tt easy to open the armoury nowadays with the new principal? or even during yue era? do u wanna take the test with wooden rifle and announced to the world that u passed the badge test with a wooden rifle... do u have the time to learn and take the test... do us have the time to teach and give the test... yes... we can settle tt... but does the sch allow... do the constraints allow?
there are soo many factors.. nt to mention ur standard... u wan everyone to fail a badge test and get disappointed all over again when u passed out? from statistic last place 30 of them took the test and only 3 pass... so i presume 2 of u all will pass this time rd? 1? or 0? and everyone pass out with a disappointment?
can u step in our shoes as instructors?
nvm if u dun...
but unpleasant words and ugly attitude?
i'm juz so upset and disappointed with all of u...
and 2hm outing tml is gone i presume... couldnt blame anyone... time constraint.. but ....haiz... nvm...
and worse still, i blurly accept an attachment from someone whom i din even look at who and kena msn virus again... the new one....
i din wanna blog this entry... it is juz tooo heart wrenching for me...
but in the end i did...
i could take it no longer....
disappointment....
